(...Continued from Page #2)

?????Some people try to initiate a beginning before they accomplish the work of the ending, mainly because endings are so difficult for most people. ?For example, they may try to find a new relationship before ending the old one. ?This creates a situation where the old structures, the old realities, are still in place and it precludes accomplishing the work of the healthy transition which can lead to true self-renewal. ?Before finding a new relationship, the person may find it preferable to spend some time alone, think about what the old relationship meant and what was wrong with it, and gain insight into what he or she truly wants at this stage of life. ?To do this, we must confront the challenge of the ending and then move into the neutral zone. ?A life of integrity demands nothing less.

?????Other societies provide in their rituals of transition ways of dealing with the neutral zone. ?For example, the vision quest, where the person goes into the wilds alone in search of answers which may come intuitively, is a way in which some native tribes provide a transition between childhood and adulthood. ?Lacking such rituals in our society, we may not know what to do with the neutral zone. ?We may feel lost, confused, and disoriented, and may even seek treatment for depression. ?This time of confusion, however can set the stage for self-examination and answers which guide us out of the transition and into the future. ?The neutral zone is a period of personal reorientation.

?????Nothing much happens in the neutral zone, at least from the outsider's perspective. ?People in the neutral zone often say that they need a few days, or even longer, alone just to think - or pray or meditate. ?Without the old definitions of the world and our accustomed activities to fall back on, time in the neutral zone can create substantial introspection and heightened self-awareness. ?

And out of this primal stew can emerge intuitions and insights which provide the recipe for the new beginning. ?This is a time to examine the course of one's life, to reacquaint oneself with the nature of one's inner self, and to think of ways to have one's dreams come true. ?Renewal emerges from an examination of one's inner resources.

?????Genuine new beginnings emerge from a realignment of ways of looking at the world and a renewal of energy. ?We often look for external signs to guide us into a beginning, but our inner attitudes toward life, our renewed self-knowledge and our intuition are really the hallmarks of our new beginnings. ?By relying on our inner voice to tell us where to go in life, we are likely to have more motivation than if we were to depend on the traditional expectations provided to us by others. ?When the directions we must take in life become clear, it is time to take action to make things happen, identify ourselves as traveling on a new course, and then see the process through step by step. ?New beginnings also incorporate continuity from the past. ?We never give up the old completely, but use what we need from the past as a resource in our journey into the future.

?????Transitions are a natural and inevitable part of life - and because we find comfort in the familiar, they can be very difficult. ?Psychotherapy is an effective way to make the most of our transitions - a way to understand the old, to look inward and discover that flame which represents our true inner selves, and to define the direction of our new beginnings.

(Continue...........)

This newsletter is intended to offer general information only and recognizes that individual issues may differ from these broad guidelines. Personal issues should be addressed within a therapeutic context with a professional familiar with the details of the problems.

?1998-2004 SIMMONDS PUBLICATIONS: 5580 LA JOLLA BLVD., #306,
La Jolla, CA 92037